Been Stressed

I’ve been stressed this year. With each month passing it feels like there is more and more. Not just COVID. Work has been a huge factor in the stress level. Not just our normal work load, but getting a new accounting system. Working in two. Duplicating everything done in the old into the new. Making sure it matches, coded correctly…and learning the new system….managing all our responsibilities times two. It’s a lot. We are mostly in the new system. Next week all of the employees get switched to the new system. We have a few days left before we lose access to the old system and HOPEFULLY the level of stress is way less than it has been. I look forward to this time of year only because we get the most holidays and that means days off.

My beautiful daughter Diana turns 5 soon. 18 days to be exact. We’re hoping to have a little gathering at the house for her. Nothing big, just people she has been in contact with most of the past 6 months anyway. I still want her to have a special 5th birthday.

Both of our daughters have decided they want their rooms painted pink. Pink…. ugh. Definitely NOT my favorite color… barely a tolerable color. We went to Home Depot last night to get the paint for one of the bedrooms. We got some dinner while we were in Annapolis…. happy we did. There was live music. We were seated right in the middle of the blocked off street. We are going to get started on painting shortly. Since the weather is cooling off, we can work on the inside of the house and make it as close to perfect as possible. We have a few areas that need some painting. I have enough vacation days, I may be able to take some of those days to get the majority of the painting done and get the rooms ready for the girls.

Now that the surrogacy is over, the baby is healthy, growing and drooling all over anyone who comes near her… we are back to our normal-ish boring lives. If it weren’t for pumping, I would feel like this happened so long ago.

4 Months

Today is 4 months since Madison made her grand entrance into this crazy world. 4 months of making my friend a very busy, sleepy but very happy Mom.

That also means 4 months of pumping…well over 50 gallons of breast milk. And still going.

4 months of me not carrying around a 10.5 lb baby. And I have lost approximately 50 lbs. I put in 37 with this pregnancy. My clothes don’t fit like they did before getting pregnant. It’s a struggle to find something that fits and makes me feel good. But a good problem since the smaller sizes are tight and the bigger sizes are too big. Now I purge the bigger clothes that don’t fit. Box up the maternity clothes and store them in the garage…. until we know they don’t need to be used again.

Madison & I

3 + Months

Here we are. Surro-baby is just past the 3 month mark. She is doing beyond well, growing….eating …pooping ha ha. She makes adorable baby noises. It’s amazing! She’s cute! I really can’t stand how cute she is.

I am still pumping. We have estimated I have pumped around 45 gallons of breast milk. 45 gallons!!! There is definitely enough milk to feed her for at least the next month…maybe longer. I would like to pump for as long as I can. Having NOT breastfed at all this go round… I truly have no idea how long the milk will last. I am amazed I have been able to pump this long. Now I sort of feel myself stressing about it. When I started bc pills my production immediately went down. My heart sank. Ugh. I know I could just stop the pills and bring the production back up….but we don’t really want back to back pregnancies.

Since I am not the one responsible for caring for a now 3 month old….I sometimes feel like it was so long ago that this all happened. When in reality…we are sneaking up on the one year mark of the transfer date. That’s insane. This whole process went by so fast.

Now what do I do about my blog….that like 2 people read? Keep going? Change the topic to how I was once a super awesome friend and now I am just a plain regular friend? Maybe my normal life will be entertaining to my readers? (Probably not since it’s my husband and my mom….they already know my life)

Let me think on that for a while.

6 Week check up

I went to the check up yesterday. The nurses and doctor were super excited to get an update on Madison. The nurses asked to hear the birth story and we’re curious if both parents were able to be there. I showed them pictures and they all seemed so surprised at how well she is doing and how big she is.

I got the all clear to resume normal activities. I can swim with the girls now. And I got a prescription for birth control because back to backs don’t sound super fun for me.

I’m down 40 lbs since my 40 week appointment. Now I just pump and freeze the milk for baby Madison…. pumping about half a gallon a day.

Besides that….life can now go back to normal …or as normal as it can be during a pandemic in a country that doesn’t seem to understand how to stay away from other people.

Surro-baby

When she was born we had no idea she was going to be as big as she was. Honestly, I thought 8…. Maybe 8.5 lbs. Never did I imagine 10.5lbs.

Well now baby girl Madison is 1 month old and 13 lbs. She grew out of newborn before she was even born. Wore 3 month clothing for a whole minute…poor Mom and Dad have had to unpack and re-pack clothes…to find her some 6 month clothing to wear.

As adorable as this lil monkey is…she needs some clothes advertising that she is the newest addition to the family.

It didn’t take much effort on my part to make these…. But I made her 2 onesies.

One Month Old!!

Happy one month to this baby girl ❣️😍.

Glad I could be part of the journey to bring you to your parents.

1 Month

It has been a month. I have lost the baby weight….I have lost the IVF treatment weight…. And have been pumping for a month. I pump approximately 1 gallon every other day.

My life has gone back to just about normal with pumping breaks. And the baby, she is thriving. Drinking more than her tiny belly can handle…and throwing it all up on her momma. Makes me smile. This is what she has been waiting for…and this time it’s not me!

My 6 week check up is June 30th. I feel pretty good. A little low on energy, but I think the doctor will say everything is healing just fine. I should get the thumbs up to get back to normal…swimming and exercise. (I have not worked out regularly since moving to MD )

It’s been a few days…

Now that the physical healing is underway, I feel the need to say a few things.

First, I truly feel blessed to have been able to be a part of helping my friends get the family they have been trying for and wanting for so long. And if they want another, I’m in. As long as Dr. Mottla says it’s okay.

Next, that’s a far bigger baby than I thought I would birth or that my body could handle. It explains all the aches and pains the last few weeks.

During the end of the pregnancy, when this pandemic took the world by storm…. We started to get so nervous about who would be allowed in the delivery room. We had all wanted to be there to experience the birth in a special way. As that got closer and the Corona virus numbers got higher, we knew hard decisions would need to be made. Kevin agreed to step aside so both of the parents could be there. That scared me a lot. I knew we weren’t going to birthing classes, so neither of the parents didn’t know how to help. I knew the nurses would help me….but there is so much comfort in knowing my husband is by my side helping me breathe and push through. He helped me get through the strongest of contractions that had me on the verge of throwing up. He held my hand through it all. Helped me push a 10.5 lbs baby out. Helped with getting me ice so I didn’t have a dry mouth. Talked me through, helped me with my breathing. He was so supportive and helpful. I couldn’t have done this without him. Made this so much easier to handle. I just wanted to say Thank you for being there for me in a big way.

Baby arrived

I went to bed on Friday night with a very tight belly and annoyed that nothing seemed to be progressing and we were getting one day closer to the induction date.

I woke up around 1:30 am to go to the bathroom. Came back to bed to find my almost 2 year old laying sideways and making it impossible for me to lay down. I got on the bed to move her and leaned forward to feel the water break. Luckily I had a towel under me for this purpose. Woke up Kevin and we were on our way. He texted our friends to let them know it was go time while I cleaned up the floor, bed and got dressed. He grabbed our bags and we headed to the hospital.

Once we got there we headed to labor and delivery. We were put into a triage room. The Dr. Examined me to make sure my water broke….and to see how far I was dilated. I was 4cm dilated…. They walked us down to our room and got us all hooked up to the monitors.

In this strange time I also had to have a covid19 test done. I was nervous and for good reason. It was uncomfortable and made my eyes and nose run. (I was Covid negative)

Once the parents got there the Mom was able to come in. Dad had to wait in the car. We were told he would be able to come in after baby was born.

The contractions got really strong once the pitocin was hooked up and working. I had to wait for the epidural because another patient was already being worked on and another came in screaming. While he was prepping my back for the epidural the pain got so intense I almost threw up.

Luckily it works fast. I was laying in different positions with the peanut ball to help dilate the cervix. After a while I felt something leaking down my leg. The nurse checked and said it was the second sac of water breaking.

They changed the bed to sit up in throne position. And all the fluid started to come out. It was so much. Two nurses had large pads to hold the pond of water underneath me flowing out. They kept changing the pads. It spilled on to the floor as well and the poor nurse had to get on the floor cleaning it up…and had to change her scrubs.

We were all able to get a small nap in before I woke up feeling a lot of pressure. The nurse checked me and started getting things ready for us to start pushing. They also told mom to call dad to come up, they were sneaking him in.

The staff made sure we were all there and got to experience the delivery exactly how we all wanted to.

Pushed for 35 minutes, out came a 10 lbs and 7.8 oz baby girl. The parents were surprised they have a daughter and I was surprised I some how carried and pushed out a ten and a half pound baby.

I am super sore. Still trying to recover….and the parents are in love. It’s so amazing to see them with their little girl. Smiling and just so surprised with a girl….they were so sure it would be another boy. The newborn outfits we all brought to the hospital will not fit this nugget. She is already in size 1 diapers.

We all got released yesterday.

THREE days past due…

We had an appointment this morning. We also had to do an NST (Non Stress test). Everything looked fine. Had some contractions. Baby’s heart rate looked good…and moving around.

I can’t even express my disappointment to hear I was only 3cm still….but 50% effaced. Just doesn’t seem fair. How in the world am I still pregnant and only 3cm. If I had been 6, she would have scooted us over to labor and delivery.

I feel like an awful person for not having given my friends their baby yet. The doctor asked if the hospital had scheduled the induction date yet. I had gotten a call yesterday to specifically say they had not. The doctor rolled her eyes and said that she said she is going to see if they can get it scheduled for Friday.